Less Than Two Weeks

I have been a horrible, horrible blogger lately. After the last transfer we headed into the holidays which kept us busy ( probably a good thing) and then on New Years Eve we started renovating our kitchen. It has been nice seeing our new kitchen come together but it has been no easy task trying to do all of the work ourselves on a very tight budget with 2 small children in the house. Not to mention I was sick at least 3 times in the first month of the renovation. So anyway it has been busy around here ( and the kitchen isn't quite done yet). But in less than two weeks Josh and I will be traveling down to Knoxville for our third and final embryo adoption transfer. I have been doing pretty good going into this transfer. Although I am finding the anxious feelings starting to set in. I keep praying that God will give me/us complete peace as we head into this transfer and then into the waiting and results. I really feel like our family is not complete and I would just really love to be pregnant again. I feel like embryo adoption is such a good fit for us because not only does it allow us to adopt but it allows me to experience pregnancy. I don't know why in my heart I long for another pregnancy but I do. Ultimately I know that God is in control and He has a perfect plan. He has already blessed us and I know that even though it will be devasting if this transfer doesn't result in pregnancy, we will be ok and will move on to God's next steps for us. I have had some people ask what our plan is if this transfer doesn't result in pregnancy. The answer is we really don't know. I think we will move onto another type of adoption but I am not sure what the timing will look like. We won't be able to afford a domestic or international adoption for a long, long time. But we trust that God will take care of the details. Right now we are hoping and believing for another miracle on March 19th. And we'll go from there. My medication protocol is basically the same except that I will be taking a low dose steroid along with my other medications. The idea behind the steroids is to slightly lower my immune function to attempt to avoid any potential autoimmune response. My doctor at the NEDC and another specialist that I saw both said they don't see any reason to believe I am having autoimmune reactions but I think something was going on given the fact that I broke out in hives of autoimmune nature after the first two transfers. So I feel good about trying a change in the protocol.  I probably won't blog before the transfer again unless something comes to mind but I will try to update once we get to Knoxville.