Moving Forward

We are continuing to move forward in our process for our second transfer. I went for an ultrasound and estrodiol level last wednesday and received a call from Dr. Keenan at the NEDC telling me that everything looked good at that I could move on to the next medication and start taking Estrace on the 28th. So I will start that tomorrow. The Lupron shots are going well. They sting for a while after it's given but it's not bad. I gave myself a couple of shots this week because Josh was out and that went fine. I knew I could do the little shots, I still don't think I can do the big Progesterone shots on my own. Not only are those needles HUGE but they have to go in my backside which is a little bit difficult to do without help. But needless to say we are glad that everything is continuing to move forward. I think we both feel more of a sense of peace this time around. It was stressful the first time for both of us. I don't know that stress is the reason it didn't work but maybe we were stressed because we didn't feel God's peace because it wasn't His timing. Josh even told me that he doesn't like going on feelings but if feelings mean anything he has been feeling lately like it's going to work this time. I feel different this time too. I hope those feelings are from God as His way of offering us peace and telling us that this is right this time. We certainly have a lot of people praying for us and that alone offers me peace. So thank you to everyone who is supporting us and praying for us on this journey.

The Shots Begin

I begin my first round of shots tonight. I will start taking Lupron 10 units once a day starting tonight. I still have josh give me these shots even though they are small ( insulin size needle) and they go in my stomach. I could give them to myself much easier than I could the Progesterone but I still like having him give them to me. I don't know how he feels about it but I like that it's something he can do to help. And he doesn't mind doing the little shots, he just doesn't like the big ones. But I start tonight and i am actually excited about that. It means that we are one step closer to our second transfer and hopefully one step closer to becoming pregnant. I am realizing that although this second transfer is feeling easier in some ways I am realizing that this doesn't get any easier. What I mean is that this transfer is easier because we know what to expect, we already know how to give the medications and we know what the process will be like. But I am realizing that overall this journey is not getting easier. I am at peace with knowing and trusting in God's plan but that longing that I have to have another child and to experience pregnancy that is not going away. I don't know why I would expect it to but I did and it's not. I guess I thought that with having Raegan that it wouldn't be hard to face disappointment in our next adoption. But I have always wanted to have a big family. i have always wanted my children to have siblings and therefore it is still hard when we again face disappointments. But I am clinging to the promise that God has for me and for our family. He wants to give us the desires of our hearts. He gave me my hearts desire when he gave me Josh and gave us Raegan. I know he will give me the desire of my heart to have a sibling for Raegan. I don't know what His plan looks like but I will trust in it. And I pray that His plan includes blessing us with our next child on July 16th.

We Have a Date

I received my medication protocol and date for our embyro transfer from the NEDC. We will be having our transfer on July 16th! It just so happens to be the day before Josh and my 5th anniversary. I guess it's not a typical way to spend celebrating an anniversary but the more I thought about it the cooler I think the timing is. It's possible that one ( or yes possibly more than one) of those little embryos will be implanting in my womb on our anniversary. Our second child would be a great blessing to receive on our anniversary. This opportunity alone is a great blessing. I don't think 5 years ago on our wedding day we would have imagined that we would be on this journey. But we are both thankful for this journey. As hard as it has been at times we wouldn't trade in any step we have taken because it is such a privilidge to be able to live out God's perfect will for our lives. There are times when we want to complain about how hard aspects of life have been for us but we always know deep down that God has a reason for every step, every twist, every turn. So we are excited to have a date for our second transfer. We are excited to be able to spend our anniversary down there and we are excited to see where this journey takes us.

It's Go Time

I know that I haven't been keeping up with this blog but i guess there hadn't been too much going on for our second embryo adoption until recently. We also had some internet issues that kept me out of the blogosphere for almost all of may. But over the last week things have started picking up and it is now officially "go time" for our second embyro transfer. I have been on the phone with the pharmacy re-ordering all of my meds and needles. And on friday we received a fax with the embyro donors available to choose from. We had to choose 2 donors but our back up donor was already taken so we chose another one tonight. Our first choice is a donor couple from Texas. They are donating 5 embryos at the blasocyst stage. We decided to go with the blastocyst stage this time after an unsuccessful try with the multi cell stage last time. Dr.Keenan told me that he didn't really see a difference in the success rates between the 3 stages but my internet research showed that blastocysts generally have a better success rate. We know it's all in God's hands and we are trusting in that but we also thought it might be good to try a different stage since we only have 3 tries and this is our 2nd. We are getting excited about going back in July to try this again. We are hoping and praying that this works. I will probably have to start the shots sometime next week and then we will be on the same regimen that I was on last time. We are excited and nervous but mostly excited to have this opportunity again and hoping that this time at least one of these little embyros will survive and grow into a healthy baby! We will keep everyone posted!