The Shots Begin

I begin my first round of shots tonight. I will start taking Lupron 10 units once a day starting tonight. I still have josh give me these shots even though they are small ( insulin size needle) and they go in my stomach. I could give them to myself much easier than I could the Progesterone but I still like having him give them to me. I don't know how he feels about it but I like that it's something he can do to help. And he doesn't mind doing the little shots, he just doesn't like the big ones. But I start tonight and i am actually excited about that. It means that we are one step closer to our second transfer and hopefully one step closer to becoming pregnant. I am realizing that although this second transfer is feeling easier in some ways I am realizing that this doesn't get any easier. What I mean is that this transfer is easier because we know what to expect, we already know how to give the medications and we know what the process will be like. But I am realizing that overall this journey is not getting easier. I am at peace with knowing and trusting in God's plan but that longing that I have to have another child and to experience pregnancy that is not going away. I don't know why I would expect it to but I did and it's not. I guess I thought that with having Raegan that it wouldn't be hard to face disappointment in our next adoption. But I have always wanted to have a big family. i have always wanted my children to have siblings and therefore it is still hard when we again face disappointments. But I am clinging to the promise that God has for me and for our family. He wants to give us the desires of our hearts. He gave me my hearts desire when he gave me Josh and gave us Raegan. I know he will give me the desire of my heart to have a sibling for Raegan. I don't know what His plan looks like but I will trust in it. And I pray that His plan includes blessing us with our next child on July 16th.